I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Randomize
