I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
