fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize