So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
