There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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