Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
