Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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