her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
