he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
