You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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