# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I don't deserve a penis
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
