dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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