I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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