My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
