This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
