Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
