overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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