thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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