can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize