We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Shame - the story of my life.
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