tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
