Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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