Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
