Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
