we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I did not marry a roomba.
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