We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
