I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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