Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize