I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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