The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
