I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize