dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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