MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Are we still banned from the library?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
