I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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