don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
vagina is talking i cant
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
