Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize