Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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