I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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