I'm jealous of your bromance
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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