i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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