Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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