we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
