I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
