ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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