Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
