She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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