I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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