goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
