You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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