what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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