Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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