what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Randomize
