She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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