I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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