I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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