I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
