So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
BRING THE BAGELS
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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