I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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