I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
