wake up i wanna do it froggy style
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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