I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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